trackmedown

Sat, 19 Nov 2005 03:20:15 GMT

yesterday (11/17) i ate ok, but more than i'd like to. salad. cottage cheese. popcorn.

today was bad. i had doritos and chocolate.

i plan to make up for this by fasting during the day tomorrow and only having soup/salad at dinner. its my birthday tuesday and my friends are taking me out to eat tomorrow night and i cant get out of it.

sunday i'm going to try and fast - maybe i'll go buy some juice and do a juice fast until tuesday night when its my actual birthday and another friend of mine has already ordered me a cake (even though i said i didnt want one) and plans to order pizza. gah. then the next day i;m driving home for thanksgiving break where there will be more eating. shiiiiiit. that's ok, i'll only eat when i'm around people and i have no choice not to.

when i get back from thanksgiving break i'm going to do more fasting. i've never really fasted before so maybe i can start out with a juice fast - OR fasting every other day of the week might be better.

ok. working out + fasting/semi-fasting. hopefully i'll fucking start to look less disgusting.

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 04:41:29 GMT

i forced myself to workout this morning and i actually went two days in a row! yay!

i ate ok, i guess. tuna, yogurt, salad, toast, chicken, boiled veggies.

hope i dont binge tomorrow.

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 00:38:12 GMT

i went to the gym for the first time in a very long time. i woke up at 8 this morning, feeling energetic and did the elliptical for about 20 mins, biked for about 20 mins. i'm going to try to sleep early tonight so that i can get up and MAKE myself go to the gym in the morning tomorrow too.

breakfast: cottage cheese, wheat toast, 2 turkey slices

afternoon: english muffin

dinner: english muffin, salad, cottage cheese

i'm going to let myself have some popcorn tonight and then that's it.

today's cals probably came to about 1000 but at least i worked out and no binges.

*edit* i spoke too soon. i went to my friend's house and she basically offered/tempted me to eat 20349029348 chocolates and now i want to die. i suck at life i will never be thin and i will never be happy with myself. I NEED TO STAY STRONG. must do better tomorrow. and the next day. no more fucking up.

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 01:56:27 GMT

almost back on track today.

i probably ate around 900-1000 cals, which still wasnt my goal but at least i didnt binge all over the place.

i had soymilk + 1 apple this morning

lunch: veggies, half an english muffin (was going to have the entire thing but i dropped half of it on the floor, haha blessing in disguise), some chicken

dinner: fat free cottage cheese, salad, low cal hot chocolate

still not satisfied with today's progress, but its better than the way i've eaten for the past few months.

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 04:13:52 GMT

sooo i fucked up again.

i am such a fucking failure.

i had cheesecake today when i went to my friend's house but at least i didnt have any pizza. i hate how she eats fucking EVERYTHING and doesnt gain any weight. she just stays at her small, thin self.

goal for this week: 600 cals or less.

i fucked up yesterday and i fucked up today. at least i have school tomrorrow so i wont have time to be tempted to eat.

Sun, 13 Nov 2005 01:45:41 GMT

today was bad.

my initial plan was to have only 1 apple in the morning before i went to piano and then allow myself 2 cups of low cal hot chocolate + 1 cup soymilk for the rest of the day.

ugh. i fucking caved in and had some salad, 1 low fat english muffin w/turkey and fat free cottage cheese, a few stone wheat crackers, and some chicken broth.

nancy just invited me to her house for some pizza and i said no because i cant handle the temptation.

i miss my hipbones! having my mom tell me i was starting to look too thin felt so good. i miss that.

tomorrow is a new day and the goal is to keep things to 600-700 cals MAX.

first post

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 02:52:58 GMT

this will be my diet journal. hopefully this will get me back on track after months of overeating and feeling fat and shitty. friends are welcome because i will need all the support i can get!

stats:

height: 5'4"
current weight: 138 lbs
lowest weight: 117 lbs
highest weight: 155 lbs
short term goal: 125 lbs
long term goal: 115 lbs

please add me if you want to be weight loss buddies :)